Fight for your love.

Cheryl Cole AshleyCelebrity gossip doesn’t usually interest me but I was listening to the radio a couple of days ago and became intrigued by the new song from Cheryl Cole. I’m not usually a fan of hers, I don’t have any of her singles or albums and haven’t really paid her that much attention. But I had picked up snippets from her life so far.

For example,  I knew that Cheryl was born and brought up not to far from where I was brought up… just outside Newcastle. But I also knew she lived in an area that had a lot of problems with high rates of crime, addictions, teenage pregnancy, poor school attendance, and a high proportion of single parents. I knew that Cheryl didn’t have a good start in life.

I also knew that she managed to get on a TV talent show – Pop-Stars:The Rivals in 2003, which she won with the group Girls Aloud which instantly had a number one hit with Sound of the Underground. She now has a solo career and has become a judge on the X-Factor.

I was also aware that Cheryl was married to another famous person, the Chelsea footballer Ashley Cole. He proposed in 2005 and they were married in a lavish wedding ceremony in 2006, with exclusive photos carried by OK! magazine.

I had also heard, unfortunately, that Ashley was not a nice boy. I didn’t really like him anyway because he played for Chelsea. But, it was reported, back in 2008, that Ashley had been unfaithful to Cheryl. He had allegedly had an affair with a hairdresser called Aimee and with a model. So, after that Cheryl and Ashley had a brief separation during which, apparently, Ashley apologised and supposedly grovelled to Cheryl to take him back…which she did. Ashley wronged Cheryl but she was willing to forgive him and they are now back together.

So, no, I don’t really follow her life, but this is what I’d picked up.

Now, what caught my attention was the song that was on the radio. It was a love song, but a love song with a difference. It’s called, Fight for this Love, and it’s as if all of Cheryl’s experiences of her life, and her relationship with Ashley Cole, have been rolled up into this song.

The song recognises that in relationships, things aren’t always rosy

“Now everyday aint gon´ be no picnic
Love aint no walk in the park“

It recognises that relationships are difficult, as in her case when her husband has wronged her. But even in relationships where there is no unfaithfulness, the song recognises that there’ll be good days when the feelings of love are wonderful, and there will be bad days when you have to muster up every ounce of energy that you have to forgive the other one.

Anything that´s worth having
Is sure enough worth fighting for
Quitting’s out of the question
When it gets tough gotta fight some more
We gotta fight fight fight fight fight for this love

Relationships are not easy, but they are worth sticking at and working at. Because it is in the forgiving, the discussing, the working together, and the thinking of the other person that the relationship is deepened. As each partner recognises their failings and comes to the other in humility, the sense of dependance and consequently, the marriage relationship is deepened. A deep long lasting relationship needs to be worked at.

When we think about it, that’s true of all the good things in life, why should marriage be ay different? If we want the best things from life, we need to commit to them and work at them. If we want to have a good career, we need to commit to that goal, and work towards it. If we want to play a musical instrument, we need to practice. Want to be good at sport, we  need to work at our skills. Apparently David Beckham used to stay back a long time after training was over just practising taking free kicks.

Likewise, if want a good, long-lasting, deep relationship we must be prepared to prioritise it and put into place good practices: spending quality time with each other, doing kind acts for each other, buying gifts that show appreciation every so often. And, most importantly, being prepared to forgive a when there is genuine repentance.

All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty. (Prov 14:23)

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2 thoughts on “Fight for your love.”

  1. After the news on 23rd Feb that Cheryl and Ashley are separating, some elements of this post are quite clearly now out of date, but the points remain the same. Although you can’t really blame Cheryl for wanting out, if the allegations are true. Marriage is wonderful if both people are committed to it, but it requires work.

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